So, there’s something addicting about living alone. I am not a naturally neat person. My desk is always covered with bottles of lotion and half read books, my chairs are always full of not quite dirty clothes, and there is always a dish or two under my bed.

But you know, I live alone… and so this isn’t a problem. I KNOW where my wallet is located (on the shelf next to the five clean glasses,) and I’m not going to step on that DVD lying on the floor, because I PUT IT THERE.

WAYS FOR YOUR SYSTEM OF DELIBERATE DISORGANIZATION TO GO TO HELL:

1) The 2-hour Notice – It’s Sunday, and you get a telephone call saying your landlady/the Internet repair guys/ your host family/ your BOSS is going to drop by at, say, 7:00. It’s currently five; you’re still wearing that t-shirt you put on Friday after school. Your make-up isn’t so bad- kind of a Lindsey Lohan binge look. But EVERYTHING needs to disappear. Including the large pile of dirty dishes that may smell a little like tuna. It’s a good thing the balcony is so big.


2) The Insane Feline – Her name is Sherlock. She’s sort of a superhero of the cat world. She can rip down wall-hangings. Eat entire houseplants. Climb seemingly bare walls. You want your books balanced on that windowsill? WHAT AN OBVIOUS THREAT TO OUR WELL BEING. Lucky Sherlock’s around to knock things around and save the day.


3) Other People – Perhaps the greatest danger to the Deliberately Disorganized. It’s hard to believe, but not everyone understands that this is a SYSTEM. They may show NO REMORSE about adding to or even MOVING stuff. Also, some people just can’t watch where they put their feet. Just because it’s on the floor doesn’t mean it’s for WALKING ON. Duh.